#BlogFeature || FEMININITY in the Business world ( Pt 3 ) by Paola Gobina
I believe a lot of women, if not all have once heard this comment or read it from a man “If I be be na woman ehh, the kind money wey I for don get am”. It makes me laugh all the time. So I will permit myself to ask this question, “Wetin you for do?” It’s hilarious because to every man who gave me that statement, I asked that question, yet, none gave me a concrete response. I am, however, still very interested in getting an answer. Are they advising us to…sell our bodies? (LOL). Yet, the same women are slut-shamed for dating a man who could coincidentally be influential or least again, for a reason I don’t understand, using the dog filter on Snapchat. “The kind money wey you for don get am” is it from the highly sexualised women in music videos or sleeping with your boss to have a promotion. It is very difficult even for some of the smartest men I know, to acknowledge the fact that women could actually be better in other things than in the kitchen and “the other room”. I have another friend of mine, K, whose intelligence practically intimidates me. I can’t say anything next to him without being sure and certain it is true and holding a whole folder of tangible facts. He too has been exposed to a lot of different cultures and people and I actually think he is too smart for all the books he could ever read. Yet, K, according to his lifestyle, believes that women can be smart, no doubt, but prefers them for his erotic gratification. He is, conversely, a very professional man, focused and motivated yet worryingly sexist. K, in spite of our different point of views on the significance of womenfolk, remains an inspiration and a spur to me.
The value of women has been exalted with the years. We now have the right to education, we can have professional lives (on a general scale), we can permit ourselves to talk in the midst of men (still on a general scale) and even engage in politics. Nevertheless, we will have a problem if we said we have gender equivalence. Some men, will read the previous sentence and say I am wanting too much. I have a friend with whom I had a similar argument in the comment section on a Facebook post I made. We got to a point when he said that all we want is for Hillary Clinton to be elected president of the U.S. because she is a woman. He actually meant we had to be satisfied with the fact that she was even given the right to discuss politics. Firstly, why would I be satisfied with the fact that Hillary C. was, at least, in the race? Who has it ever killed to be ruled by a woman? Secondly, Hillary did not have to win because she is a woman. She did not launch her campaign with her vagina but with her intellects. If she had to win, it should have been because she was made eligible for the post by the U.S citizens.
As a final point, I am not trying to raise an “anti-men in business” campaign or poke their ego, absolutely not. All I am trying to orate is that, it is time we unlearn the old and learn the new. You will tell me “Our fore-fathers lived this way and they were happy with it” but we are not our fore-fathers. We are a new generation, with new aptitudes, mind-sets and technologies. We can only be receptive to change. We have accepted to use the electric blender, the gas cooker, the computers and the internet, what will it take to accept the full emancipation of the womenfolk? Can we someday proudly say “My wife is the bread winner” “My girlfriend invited me for dinner” or “My sister just offered me a job”? The world is changing and culture as well and in the words of Chimamanda N. A. I will say “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the true humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.”
Thanks for reading…
Author : PAOLA Gobina